Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
