I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They are going to name an STD after you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
