david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize