Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Randomize
