new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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