I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
