Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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