I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize