while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
