i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
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So many bounce houses so little time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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