I cannot find my penis.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We were destined to go to rehab together
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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