If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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