Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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