Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize