Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
only you would photoshop your dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
