I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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