He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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