I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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