He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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