If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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