New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
