my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
