tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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