The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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