Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
