I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
