i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize