Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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