Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
