I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight