There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
