And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
