alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
