Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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