I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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