i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize