So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
