i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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