hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
