Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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