She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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