there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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