from now on my penis is your penis
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
