So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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