Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
