do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
