so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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