wanna go halves on a baby?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
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I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize