I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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