my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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