you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
