Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
