A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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